HAhaha Haiyo... Thursday and Friday were very specials day and Thursday was the day that spark the end(well almost) of my insecurites. It started in the morning before i left the house for work. I got scolded by qiqi(She has her little morning tantrums) and felt discouraged and condemned meself a little about how i am not good enough to be a leader. After work i received an sms from Rebekah about a leadership training with her and Jackson. Wow! How fast God responded! He rebuked me for thinking that i'm not good enough. Jackson was surprised when he heard it and said that this choice just came into his mind.
Wow!! God really work wonders. I'm Glad that i've got a Great God like Him and i happy that i did not back slide despite there were temptation due to tireness. However, i'm a loyal person i'll stick to something for the sake of everyone else as i don't want to break my CG's hearts, Pastors' Hearts and above all God's heart.
Yesterday Rebekah and i had a Great time playing games at PC Bunk. I got her hooked on Audition! Asiasoft's latest Dance Game.AUDITION!!
Interested as well? Go to Auditionsea.com and start dancing!
I'm not sure why i've been feeling some what like when i was back in secondary school again.. I feel like i don't feel i'm trusted it like that sort of everyone seem to be sharing a little bit of themselves to the person they give space to, not including the leaders. Also i do feel a little bit exclusive and forgotten. I don't mean my church leaders, team leaders and group mates are neglecting me but more or last i feel detached from something now and is independent(sort of). Sometimes i kind of think will it be just like anyother oridinary friendships that i'm going to have like in secondary school?
Perhaps i think it's got to do with something about my self not being BIG-hearted. That what qiqi told me when i told her about this and was discipled by her( though we are blood sisters, we are also spiritual sisters, we help each other to grow spiritually). I don't go the extra mile for the people around me she says. Not truly understanding people and through this, i exlcuded myself and think the world excluded me, thus my introvert self is formed.
Sometimes, it's tired to really push yourself to get people to know you as well as it takes a large amount of courage too. I admit i'm not bold, in fact i'm equivalent to the chinese term " shuo tou wu gui", a coward. However, i know that my life now is different from the life before i was found. I think i want to make it a point to people that i am available, i want to earn your trust and i know Jesus and my spiritual family will help me to be a better person.
This weekend, Pastor How spoke about being in a ministry, doing your part in serving and be yourself, an Original and not a Photocopy. I decide to call up my cafe cap'n and yang xinyi(My Building Management Agent) for duty and i'll try to be myself more and get more DISCIPLESHIP(erm.. ALERT?! I've haven't been gettin' any discipling lately is there something wrong that should not know??) to improve myself, starting with trying to be BIG-hearted..
Lately, for the past 2 weeks i kind of get this feeling of not being trusted... insignificant.. Little unwanted feelings that i had when i was leading a purposeless life.. although feelings like that were around when out with my friends.. it was not heavy and lingering... Parhaps God was in someway making me feel better than i was hahax..
I'm Glad God chose me for 2 Thessalonians 2:13-14 explains it all
13 But we are bound to give thanks to God always for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God from the beginning chose you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth, 14 to which He called you by our gospel, for the obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.
So i say this my dear non-christian friends, when someone you know who is a christian invites you out to his/her church, you know God is preparing you for salvation. So don't turn it down take it up 'Cause if you don't, who knows how many people that God prepared to win over through you are not going to be saved.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! At last i achieved what i wanted the most!!!!! Hahaha... my new blogskin.. is simply smashing! 'Cause if you noticed, at the bottom of my navi. bar as well as my journals bar.. you'll see the curved rectangle's end!! YEAYEA...!! What's more this time's blogskin is based on an English song called Tonight Tonight Tonight by Beat Crusaders(the music you're listening now!) as you can see the chorus lyrics are all over the place hahaha...
Blogging short.. Sleeping soon By the way, my Exams results are here and boy izit it smashing!! 2 DISTs, 1A, 3B+s and 2Bs with a GPA total of 3.550 also i got the elective i wanted, Japanese Language 1. God really is a Loving God!! LOVE YOU, JesusY!!!
Tonight was the worst of all the shifts i ever had in my 2 years of work at York Hotel. The shift started out just fine. Did a little quiet time before going to out to work. Praying of a great evening and then out to the resturant to start.
Employer then said that i'm to go to one of the banquet rooms to work. Here's a little introduction to what i have to do at work. I am to just clear the empty plates and bowls from the customers' table and serve them water and take their orders as well. So everything started fine and was great dispte that it was by myself. Then i got worse as more customers came in to dine.
In the room, there were two tables one of which sat a group of elderly people who were catholics. The table on their right (my left), sat a group of people with a particularly odd uncle. both were dining enjoyably until the group with the uncle were about to leave when the uncle started to speak to the group of catholics. They chatted quite well then suddenly started to talk about religious things.
the odd uncle then spoke ill of the methodists for smashing his little collections of things like a buddha statue and a little kite or somethingy from Japan or Korea. I was around them when i heard it and wanted to tell the uncle that dispite the action was not very nice but he should understand that in one of God's 10 commandments which is one of the most important cos CHIRSITANS HAVE ONE GOD AND NO OTHER!!! So that means NO IDOLATRY!! That uncle spoke ill of the methodists!! Though i maybe from a different denomination, i can't stand that and i couldn't stand up for them 'cos i was working and won't want to lose it too. Then that uncle spoke ill of MY DENOMINATION!! He said that stuff that my denomination believe in is bullshit!! BULLSHIT!! I felt very discriminated!! having heard that right in front of my face.. i nearly cired in front of my colleagues in the kitchen and still feel sad about it too. Luckily, that uncle left and before i had a chance to talk right back at him.
Interested as well? Go to Auditionsea.com and start dancing!
