These past two days was good thanks to our Lord, the Hevenly Father, who has blessed us great with good amnay days. Last week i was in a total wreck, there's so many problems coming up and makes me feel as if i'm going to loose my faith on God. Fortunatly He did not give up on me and neither did i :) It must have been a test of faith but this time i'm not sure if i get it right.. haha..
Anyway, last weekend was a great! The Red Rain concerts rocked to a state where Kallang theatre toppled and went upside down haha.. I also got a chance to go to brother Shurn's Church, Kay Poh Road Baptist Church, on sunday morning too. It's good not the way i thought it would be. To all my lovly girl friends of my class whom i love, it ain't a date :P i got to get a good view on how his church works and it's quite different. Althuogh it's much more conservative than Heart of God church where all God-lovers jump like there's no tomorrow haha. What strikes me about Kap poh Road Bapthist Church is that the people are friendly and they kind of hold each other in respect althuogh they don't really show it but you can tell that they do.
A great thing about last weekend was that i met my ex-classmate, Wei He at the Red Rain concert on Saturday. Indeed, Singapore is really small. Small to the fact that my Churchmate, Ivan, could actually invite Wei He to the Red Rain concert. I also met my ex-form teacher's cousin in Shurn's church as well haha indeed God has decided for me and Mdm Peng's Cousin to meet although i forgot her name >_<..
It was a good weekend in the end and i hsve to go but before i go i like to share this verse with all my readers out there...
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? - Psalm 56:4
Today was a great day.. it's the day Red Rain Rocked at Kallang Theatre!!! Yea.. this day was a day we all rocked so hard till we turn thw hole place upside down! I even got a chance to see an old ex-classmate again. He was invited by Ivan, his class mate at the same time my fellowshipmate, to the concert! I do pray that he'll be interested to come to Church sometimes, so as to all my new friends whom i've met today! We had a fun time at suntec city too! Yum~
Tell me my dear lovly readers, especially those who are christians, how do you juggle the urge to serve God more and at the same time keep your mum happy and your dad from suspecting? Well, my mum seems to be objecting me from being active in Church. She even tries to stop me from going for those events like the Emerge Conference and the helping out the Church do stuff. I really want to be active in Church, but i seem to have sinned my mother for she helps me lie to my father about why i'm not always at home till late at night. What am i going to do? My sister as well wants to serve more but it seems that she can't too. I know my mother's worried about our studies, but she seem to have offended me. She says that she has a colleauge who's a diehard christian and she does not act the way that i do. She also says that God has somehow "snatched" her daughters away and that we should turn to Him for pocket money and go to Church and not home and school. You all know that we always Sinned in some way or another right? Well, she ask why do christians go to confess their sins when they know it's wrong in the first place? And that's what she hates about Christians. So is she saying she hate me too for i'm a christian?
I'm not sure what to do and i do not know how to do it but i do know one thing. God will know how to handle it for He loves me. He did not desert me last week when i was feeling down neither will He leave my prayers unanswered! I will look up to Him and keep bugging Him for help. I'm sure God will one day turn her view around, YES! I can see God making plans for her oh yes He will!! -Amen!
It just hurts me so.. to see my mother and my friend Jing Yan not wanting to accept God. They say that they believe God but i fele that the way they are now. Their spritiual state is like they want to connect with God but they do not want to make an effort to get connect like they are expecting God to do that for them. It's just hurts me so.
It just hurts me so.. to see my my mother suffer they way she is. Always feeling so depressed each time a casual comment is given. Remembering once, a colleague of hers commented that her communication was lousy, and becuase of that, for a whole week when everyone can't get what she said, she would think of the comment and ay that her ocmment is lousy. I really want to help her but it's like she's refusing mine and God's help. When she heard that i wanted to be a chirstian and get to know od more, she had objection in her eyes but she does want to stop me but evertime i said i have to go for a Church activity she would say that the way i'm doing is worng and if i keep doing it she might want to talk to my pastor about it. Maybe it's because that colleague that insulted her was a christian so she's trying everyway to ask me not to be a christian. I do not want to see her get taken by the Devil when she goes on after her life. I REALLY WANT TO HELP HER!!!
It hurts me so.. to see my good friend Jing Yan, not wanting to excpet God and not believing int the words of the Bible. Isn't the Bible about the word of God? What more she says she believe in God but she is just not ready to take on the path of which i have taken just 1 and a half months ago.. I really do not want to see her in her life later on, too consumed by her worldly duties that she would one fine day forget about God and His will for her that she draws herself to a state of no return. I REALLY WANT TO HELP HER TOO!!!
My dear dear Lord, if you are reading this, please let these prayers be answer for i do not waant to see them get taken away by the Devil and receive worse death anyone would ever recive..eternal death. Dear Lord, my Dear Heavenly Father, do watch over them, fro my sake and ne day i pray i really do pray that they wouls come back to your arms just as i have. -AMEN!
I feel so spent today.. So may things are trying to stop me from doing the things i want to do for my dear heavenly Father. First of all my mother and now my friends whom i've invited to the RedRain concert tomorrow.
My mother tells me that i'm too busy nowadays to be spending time with her. She says that this is not the way. What she meant is that i shouldn't be so active in Church. I just want to help and be active as much as i can ut it seems that the way i do puts my mother in the way between my secret and my father. For he does not know that i've let God into my life. She has to tell a white lie evertime i'm going for a church activity in the weekday or weekend. My actions put my mother on the line from my slightly tyranical father. What shall i do dear Lord? -Amen!
Another are my dear friends whom i love so much. At first when i asked them if they are interested to go for the Red Rain concert, they said they would but as the event approaches, more of my friends are unable to come and especially one of them, said she wouldnt come because the other two of my friends are unable to come. Now, i'm left with one friend i pray that she'll be able to come. I'll pray to the lord about it.
I know i can rely on God for He has helped me so much especially last friday, He won't desert me now and He never will. I have faith in Him that He will make things right again. I just need to know how from Him so thati would follow what He will me to do. I'll i need now is to pray and pray.. and pray. Pray that my mother would one day come to light about God, pray that one day when i invite them to church, they would br interested to go. All i need to do is pray with all my heart for i believe God will make it better. -Amen!
HaHa.. it's been very fun and may i say..Defiant days of the weeks? I was helping the Church's decor team by making up poles for the up coming most exciting concert this month that we are all waiting for RED RAIN!!!
I helped by, making "poles" and stiching and tying them up with strings. Making them up into 2's and 4's. It was quite fun considering the ammount of time we were spending. haha.. and last night while going out from the church, the IT or someting team came back with all our equipment as well as RED RAIN's equipment.. YEA... They've landed in Singapore already hahaha.. i managed to help them carry them up to on the lift which kind of reminds me during my old band days in secondary school. After a peroformance we had to retuen back to school and helped them carry the instruments up the stairs and especially us girls, we carried some heavy stuff like the tuba, chimes, marimba, etc on high heels!!! Yea! haha i'm glad i was able to help them carry some stuff back up to church before going. Ending up, getting grounded for the rest of the week. Today and tomorrow i'm not allowed to go there, so sorry guys, i can't go for CG meeting tomorrow.. Kena grounded. Oh well, a nice price to pay for carry either Micheal Turner's or Steve Turner's or Dave Francis's guitars haha..
Today was an eventful day to me it began this morning when i have forgotten many things like wearing my watch and accessories but the first thing i remembered was my Bible. Immediately, i took the lift back to mu house and opened the door in haste and rushed to my bed grabbed the bible and place it in my already full-of-things bag. and continued my journey to school to school. At the bus stop, i reemmbered my watch but did not think that it was important as what matters was my Bible was with me.
Then today at Church, i felt God's prescence so close than it was before and i cried more than i used to. Probably on tuesday i felt the connection between me and God sort of disconnected and it made me feel sad. Then when i watched the video, Pastor Tommy Barnet talked about the connection with God can somehow get disconnected which made me think "could God had done that to test me if i will try my hardest to get back to Him?" Maybe, and i think i must have passed the test for i felt very grateful today when we were worshipping and praising. This feeling was more solidified than it was before and i cried for that relief that i felt from Him. That feeling was like beyond but you can feel a sense of peace and calm, like you feel that everything is alright and you have nothing to worry about. I like that feeling and i hope to have that feeling more as i continue to learn more about my relationship with Jesus.
Jesus has so much to teach me through my pastors and my spritual brothers and sisters i shall slowly learn and get myself aquainted with the things i learn like this verse from the song "Remedy" sung by Jason Mraz "When i fall in love, i'll take my time. There's no need to hurry while i'm making up my mind.." Yup, when i fall in love with God, i'll take my time to know Him better and there is no hurry for me to decide how i want to learn about Him..
By the way i managed to get the Red rain video onto my friendster page!! Yups.. i must remind that God is a very good Webmaster too if not for Him i would not be able to get that i simply must thank Him for His help..
Hey no worries everyone i'm alright now.. i'm have been trying very hard to connect meself with My dear Daddy and Big Brother Jesus and it did me real good.
How i did it? Maybe probably cause i started readin' this book i've borrowed from the Toa Payoh Library called " 'I Thirst' - the Cross - The Great Triumph of Love" it's all about Big Brother's love for us and all the reasons that he died for us on the Cross. The Bible also helped too and it renewed my energy to fight against those awful feelings. And it's a goos thing i recharged my batteries for my MP3 too otherwise i wouldn't be able to find peace on my way home or to school. Speaking to God also helped i told Him about that i have been feeling this way and needed help. The Help somesort of came from the chain emails that my friends sent me. When i read them, i just cried. I cried that feeling out and after prayer i fell into deep sleep and next moring which is today i felt so much better. So good that i even turn my radio loud in the morning and danced and sang to my hearts content while doing the laundry hahaha XD
yes.. i'm a little crazy at times when i'm happy :P
Haiz... i'm not sure why but these past 2 days i have been having feelings of inferiority and loss. It's as if everything i do doesn't give me the satisfaction anymore. like i'm back to my old insecure self of worrying whether i offend people or not.. even in the presence of my spritual brother, Shurn, too. Tried reading the Bible and listerning to songs to sooth that feeling but it doesn't seem to have worked really need some help here I AM EMOTIONALLY SICK!!!
Could someone help me be an emotional doctor?? I need emotional help!!!
Today is Mother's day i'm wondering what many of my dear readers did for their mummy dearest? Anyway, today i was out with my cousin on a short trip to Liang Court shopping mall to pass some time in a boring afternoon for i miss God and wanted to come to for service >_<. At Books Kinokuniya, i was browsing around looking for the English comics section. As i walked i slowly went into the Japanese section of the book store and on a particular shelf, something caught my eye. A Japanese bible of the old and the new testiment. Thinking that it may just be all full of Japanese words. when i opened it, i was suprised that it was like a manga! Manga refers to Japanese Comics. Immediately, i flipped the pages page by page and looked at the pictutres. Although the entire pictoral Bible was in Japanese, i could at least under stand what it was talking about. The 2 books soon satisfied my 'thirst' for God. I'm greatful for what our Lord has done for me for He somehow knew that i was missing His presence and refeshed me with those two wonderful pictoral Bible.
And by the way my sister Hui Qi A.K.A QiQi, has accepted Christ into her life just as i have. I'm Happy that i brought her to church yesterday in hopes that she will learn to understand herself and God more.
Shawn came back to school yesterday.He is doing fine and some of his skin got nipped awy by those nasty EVIL doctors(they treat their patients like human specimens)for rescearch. Just because Shawn caught a rare unknown virus years ago doesn't mean he like's being an experiment!!Anyway, enought of talking about nasty evil doctors, yeah Shawn got some stitches on his right arm and leg. Thinking of those stitches just reminds me of my gums. it got stitched before and it sucked very bad. All because of a KFC Zinger Burger.
A few years back then, i was out to lunch with my mum and sister at KFC and i ordered a Zinger burger as i liked the burger back then. Eating the first few bites were alright. Then... "CRACK!" i felt something in my mouth broke and i spitted out the pieces Zinger that was in my mouth and ran to the toilet to rinse my mouth thinking that ther may be bones in my chicken fillet. When rinising, i saw blood and useed my tongue to feel around my teeth and there was a sharp pain. What i felt shocked me, i felt pieces of tooth on the roof of my mouth. So i quickly told my mum and sheduled my school dentist to extract it.
On e day of the appointment, the dentist removed most of the pieces of tooth except for one part which got deep into the roof of my mouth that i had to go for a dental operation at the National Dental Centre to extract it. The dentists there dug and dug trying to get the naughty piece out of my mouth that they left a pretty big hole when they finially dug it out and stitched them back.
From that point on, i never liked Zinger Burger anymore.
By the way you should see this clip it's very cool it for the NTV Asia Awards 2006!!
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God really does do miracles no matter how big or small it is. I really experienced today. It started that i did not have enough money to buy all 3 T-shirts for my little "Walking Advertisment" plan for school. I going to wear my Red Rain tees for the whole of next week to promote Red Rain. YEA!! I did not want to borrow money from my mum although she did ask me to buy Ice-cream for her but i didn't want her to pay me back. So, today i went to Church and bought only the Heart Of God versions only. During the service, i kept thinking about it and even went to the extend that i borrow ten dollars fron Jexin. But in the end, i decided not to for i know that i would not be able to return jexin the money. Then i returned the money to Jexin after the service was over. Moments later, Jackson walked with a black stuff on his hand and handed it to me saying " for your walking advertisement plan" i took it and thanked Jackson for it and saw that it was the T-shirt that i wanted but was not able to afford it. O_O i just stared at it and kept saying "God is SO COOL!!!! Yea, GOD is really really and i DO say REALLY cool. Yea.. Thank you God for gviving me the tee through Jackson.. If God was really around i would REALLY want to hug Him for it. It's like a Father giving a present for his little girl..X3
haha i changed back to my "Heavens of Mine" blog theme because my RedRain blog theme is not working.."Gomenasai Shurn-kun please don't come get me!!!" >_< The reason was because the pictures weren't working!! ARgH!! Exceed BandWidth !! ARgH!!
It's been a good 3 day after my dad THREATENED my mum. Dad still ain't speacking to us and it's okay we're not talking to him either.
Wednsday, there was Inet Club's Orientation. It was a good and Fun event except that i was the only lady there but it's fun haha to hang out with guys and for once really be yourself and not worrying whether if other girls are thinking that you are b*tch*ing around with the guys. As what matters is interest and not the situation. It's good 'cause it's gonna be on games this year haha.. and i'm interested in how games are made. yea.. i got to know some seniors of which some are OGLs(Orientation Group Leaders) from the Orientation like Shurn and Wilfred. haha *_*
Oh, and by the way i'm finially getting sick as well!! Yippy!! Now i can suffer with those friends i love so dear now and be sick together!!
My dad just talk back at my mum again. All she did was just make a phone call to him. My dad did not asnwer her call the first time so she called him again. He still didnt answer her and this time he switched off his phone only to turn it on again in the afternoon. Then just now, he said a whole lot of nasty things about my mum.He said things like " don't put ideas i my mother head!" "mother's own things i ownself bother no need you to bother. If you want to take the girls fine by me. i don't want them anyway.." and all sorts of other nasty things.but worse of all, he treathened that he would chop my mum to pieces if anything happens to my grrandma. Upon hearing it, i kept telling myself " i will study hard and make my mum proud and prove to the man whom i call "father" that i can do better than he thinks i can.
i do not like to way my dad talks to my mum ever since yesterday morning(read previous entry)...
What a good day to start May. I've only just wake up only to be scolded and nearly slapped by my Father. All because of the stupid word "yell".
This morning my Father was already not happy with my mother with some boiling of water reason and was already senisitive about everything which included why i stayed up late and wokr up late the next morning. For your infomation, i woke up at 9:30am which is good considering those who wake up at 10+, 11+ to afternoon. Father was looking for the nail clipper. So, Mother told my sister who was up then , "QiQi, please give papa the nailclipper before he yell". then Father scolded Mother for saying that he yell. In defence of Mother, my sister explained what Mother meant and that got him angry too as he shouted at her "do i need you to tell me how i should behave? If it this then don't regard me as your father." Hearing that, i immediately got up and explained that what Mother meant was that she was worried that Father would not be about to find the nail clippers and make a fuss about it. He then immediately, scolded me to and say all sorts of nasty things about Mother and tried to slap me twice and next thing you know he gave us all three the cold shoulder. I describe his sudden out burst of unstable behaviour like Menopause. One time nice and sweet then suddenly change to mad angry rage. I don't know but i konw that he cannot live without my mother and me for both of aid him with his almost every need from washing his clothes to helping him with his handphone.
Today, Shawn also got hospitalised. Yes it's true and it is due to his very naughty stomach giving him the problems ever since last monday. I did tell him go to see a dcotor but he didn't until only friday after school did go and see a doctor and was prescribed with gastric flu. Despite the medicine and lquid food, it got worse and he landed in hospital. That's really sad. I will pray for him until he gets good, better and best! But in the mean time, he will need to stay in hospital under observation and NO FOOD!!
